I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize