Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
