Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
