I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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