After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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