I just pynch a tree in the face
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I licked your asshole in confidence.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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