TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
