We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize