on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
