the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
