Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
