In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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