Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
