Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
