I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wish I could teleport
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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