Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This girl is more easily done than said...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
