Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Mom said you looked used
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
