the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
