You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
People with herpes should wear stickers.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
