ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
