Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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