Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
