you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
