he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
