This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
