There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
