I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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