I showed him my bush... on skype.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
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I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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