dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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