Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize