I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
