Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed

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  (412): I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed http://tfl.nu/d0u5
  Replies (55) Good night (724) Bad night (3322) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.

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  (352): You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/vzqd
  Replies (8) Good night (3490) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.

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  (216): There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself. http://tfl.nu/jj9y
  Replies (23) Good night (1072) Bad night (3836)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.

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  (816): I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since. http://tfl.nu/s9zv
  Replies (61) Good night (18517) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro

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  (661): She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro http://tfl.nu/m8rk
  Replies (31) Good night (986) Bad night (5855) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up

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  (404): It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up http://tfl.nu/zf6y
  Replies (27) Good night (920) Bad night (4565) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.

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  (+61): We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well. http://tfl.nu/yavz
  Replies (21) Good night (1798) Bad night (2503) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.

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  (207): just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries. http://tfl.nu/mz24
  Replies (3) Good night (3649) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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  (814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw
  Replies (6) Good night (2607) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.

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  (989): we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through. http://tfl.nu/1jmj
  Replies (9) Good night (3022) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?

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  (781): What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body? http://tfl.nu/d4hy
  Replies (11) Good night (1491) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.

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  (443): My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/12sb
  Replies (8) Good night (3442) Bad night (463)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am

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  (773): despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am http://tfl.nu/0kp9
  Replies (1) Good night (1152) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.

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  (406): sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of. http://tfl.nu/ki5k
  Replies (5) Good night (1463) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream

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  (323): There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream http://tfl.nu/r44r
  Replies (9) Good night (404) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt

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