Texts From Last Night

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  (478): View more from Georgia

  she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet

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  (478): she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet http://tfl.nu/g772
  Replies (14) Good night (3943) Bad night (1034)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.

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  (484): I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today. http://tfl.nu/rr17
  Replies (18) Good night (4565) Bad night (924)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables

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  (214): New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables http://tfl.nu/m9ex
  Replies (27) Good night (6386) Bad night (866)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

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  (254): I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer... http://tfl.nu/1ty6
  Replies (28) Good night (3384) Bad night (6615)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

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  (419): He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/bo6z
  Replies (23) Good night (1033) Bad night (7573)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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  (917): On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests http://tfl.nu/0vji
  Replies (7) Good night (3292) Bad night (2028)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged

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  (814): when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged http://tfl.nu/78pb
  Replies (16) Good night (4908) Bad night (2959)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.

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  (208): Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/191q
  Replies (18) Good night (915) Bad night (5559)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"

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  (978): You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!" http://tfl.nu/193a
  Replies (3) Good night (2024) Bad night (1008)
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  (858): View more from California

  No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.

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  (858): No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter. http://tfl.nu/lm85
  Replies (17) Good night (3350) Bad night (1032)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.

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  (860): You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie. http://tfl.nu/zzfj
  Replies (17) Good night (3540) Bad night (1160)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

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  (914): Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun? http://tfl.nu/1gt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2382) Bad night (537)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control

  (737): View more from Texas

  we are the apple cider girls!

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  (512): So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control (737): we are the apple cider girls! http://tfl.nu/izwd
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter

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  (402): Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter http://tfl.nu/7i88
  Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (440)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority

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  (506): I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority http://tfl.nu/l5i9
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (341)

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