3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Some milfs here doing some blow
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed