Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline

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  (303): That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline http://tfl.nu/qmbu
  Replies (6) Good night (2253) Bad night (885)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.

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  (850): it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco. http://tfl.nu/l4az
  Replies (11) Good night (634) Bad night (2813)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

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  (863): Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/werm
  Replies (9) Good night (896) Bad night (1915)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?

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  (630): is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit? http://tfl.nu/3vh4
  Replies (107) Good night (942) Bad night (12959)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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  (610): I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible. http://tfl.nu/74be
  Replies (9) Good night (4245) Bad night (938)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways

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  (203): I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways http://tfl.nu/010i
  Replies (14) Good night (1247) Bad night (4991)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.

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  (404): just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor. http://tfl.nu/8ie3
  Replies (10) Good night (1794) Bad night (3590)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.

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  (416): Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life. http://tfl.nu/bd2a
  Replies (1) Good night (1007) Bad night (433)
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  (347): View more from New York

  There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery

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  (347): There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery http://tfl.nu/86su
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (406)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, they all thought you were gay.

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  (412): Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls (724): Dude, they all thought you were gay. http://tfl.nu/k7ip
  Replies (7) Good night (1177) Bad night (461)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..

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  (404): He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing.. http://tfl.nu/8ij4
  Replies (10) Good night (390) Bad night (1146)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me

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  (706): It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me http://tfl.nu/2th9
  Replies (0) Good night (439) Bad night (224)
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  (310): View more from California

  Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.

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  (310): Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts. http://tfl.nu/j0t2
  Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (247)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.

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  (469): I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some. http://tfl.nu/ar3h
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (287)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling

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  (217): You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling http://tfl.nu/odh7
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (164)

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