there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.