Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

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  (865): Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand. http://tfl.nu/3nr4
  Replies (31) Good night (5160) Bad night (690)
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  (805): View more from California

  Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.

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  (805): Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response. http://tfl.nu/yy5l
  Replies (9) Good night (5709) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  This kid is drunk.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.

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  (240): This kid is drunk. (410): I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted. http://tfl.nu/8aqa
  Replies (6) Good night (8034) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.

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  (425): I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class. http://tfl.nu/j3lm
  Replies (12) Good night (4449) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.

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  (954): We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers. http://tfl.nu/9jml
  Replies (5) Good night (3945) Bad night (913)
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  (714): View more from California

  no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you

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  (714): no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you http://tfl.nu/e8y7
  Replies (7) Good night (3041) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.

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  (423): it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise. http://tfl.nu/943e
  Replies (25) Good night (7547) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy

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  (407): She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy http://tfl.nu/3ht2
  Replies (16) Good night (2242) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.

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  (608): Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out. http://tfl.nu/np60
  Replies (10) Good night (1566) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?

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  (402): Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out? http://tfl.nu/j98q
  Replies (14) Good night (605) Bad night (2946)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.

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  (602): When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises. http://tfl.nu/mg1c
  Replies (6) Good night (1113) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night

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  (517): The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night http://tfl.nu/871q
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.

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  (630): And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then. http://tfl.nu/h2gd
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made

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  (859): Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made http://tfl.nu/odg4
  Replies (5) Good night (1063) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.

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  (315): That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes. http://tfl.nu/lakd
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (302)

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