I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
