Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
