Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
