Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
