took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
