Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
