Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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