woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
