he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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