We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
