I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm passing your future prison.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
