with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
