I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
