What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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