i permit you to call me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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