Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize