Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
