It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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