Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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