he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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