Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize