Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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