His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
