you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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