is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.