I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.