what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize