dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara