We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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