my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
