idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
